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Mind over matter with worries and fear, even when bombarded with it by media and life expectations

Essex Depression and Anxiety Counselling

Our lives are becoming more and more plagued by worry and fear. Existentially, fear is natural and our responses to fear help us to make the right decisions or act out ‘fight or flight’ as necessary. Losing a job, moving to a new place, doing something we’ve never done before or even fear of death are all natural and we must find coping mechanisms in order to deal with them.

But, on top of natural fears, fear is driven into us by the media; scare mongering is rife in newspapers, on the news and in many other areas. Not just the media; government do the same from ground level upwards. They seek to scare us into voting a certain way or accepting things we wouldn’t usually want to accept.

So, with all this fear created around us, what do we do about it?

Well, as you read this, you can be sure that whatever you have been fearful of in the past has been dealt with. YOU dealt with it. YOU have survived – so never forget that! YOU can do it again and again.

Keep notes

keep notes

How did you get through when you were tackling something you feared? Have a think and write it down. Each event that occurred, how you felt, what you thought, and what you did. Did you call on others to help or deal with it alone? Did you spend a lot of time procrastinating or did you tackle it quickly? What resources did you use? (people, objects, the internet…) Did you call a professional in to help? Did it cost money to sort out or did you find a way to save money?

When we are mindful of what we have already been through, it helps us to be confident that we can deal with things as they arise… Because, let’s face it, they will arise.

Now write down all the resources you have. This could be friends or family or professional contacts. It will also be all the skills you have in life (you never know when first aid or the ability to be an advocate for someone might come in handy) Write down everything you can do. It will be a long list. Then, think about all the things you have; a car, a computer, mobile phone etc. All the things you can utilise if you need them if faced with a problem.

All these things will help you to feel ready to take on your fears or things that come along out of the blue. The more confident you feel, the easier it will be to think clearly and know you can sort things out. You may also avoid the ‘fight or flight’ sensations and the behaviours that go along with them, again leading to a clearer mind.

Write down the fear or event and think about all your options. Write them down and look at the pros and cons. Logicalise the situation – analyse possible outcomes for each choice if there are any choices.

Sharing our fears and problems is good as long as we do not get more confused by the varying suggestions from different people. The choice is yours. It can be great to get advice from people we know, but try to choose optimistic people, or people who are resourceful. If someone is pessimistic, they may instil more fear than you already had if they look on the bad side of things. If someone always goes to others’ for help, they may not be able to help as much as you need. Just a thought.

Try not to avoid your smaller fears. Whatever they are, tackle them head on. The chances are that if you overcome your smaller fears, you will be more ready if something bigger happens, as you will be primed to deal with the effects of fear. We are not talking about risky things, just things that bring a small amount of fear to you. You will move your life on and gain more confidence. And it will be easier, because it will be YOUR choice to tackle them as and when you are ready. You will feel proud of yourself too for overcoming fears.

As for the media, we cannot change what they do, but unless it is something that is going to affect you badly directly, why worry so much? You are giving in to them and letting them rule your life and happiness and calm. Make it your choice to bring more calm into your life, and if a fear arises, imagine you are tackling it in your mind. See yourself sorting it out. If a negative thought comes, turn it on its head into a positive one.

Take back control of your life, and don’t let fear or anyone else control it for you. Make your own choices and accept them.

Do what you can and accept that it is all you can do. Accept your limitations and be honest with yourself and others.

I wrote an article on acceptance which may be helpful – CLICK HERE to view it.

I also wrote an article about how taking a risk is just as risky as not taking a risk and why – see it by CLICKING HERE.

MINDFULNESS also helps with fear, worry and anxiety. Please see my article by CLICKING HERE

Or even take part in my 6 day mindfulness challenge which you can start anytime – CLICK HERE

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