Forgiveness - and why it is worth it

I held onto resentments for the longest time. It did me no good, for I was holding anger and negative feelings towards another that was just getting on with their lives. I was the one suffering, and I kept myself in that state. But what do we do when we are in that state?

We can seek revenge. We can resent or suffer as a result all our lives. Or we can at least try to forgive.

So, what is forgiveness? And is it for the other person? Forgiveness is a state in which we can empathise with the other person, realise that whatever they did they did for a reason, that they may not be all bad and can release the resentments we have for them. We do it for us, not for them.

In order to forgive, we must be ready to take on a new idea about the other person. What is it like to be them? Why might they have done what they did? 

Then we must radically accept what has happened. It is done, there is nothing we can do about it now.

Then we can think about what we have become and learnt as a result of what they have done. For me, I learnt resilience, self awareness and boundaries. There is usually a silver lining. What is yours? Remember we forgive for us, and we do not need to tell the other person we forgive them unless we want to.

Now I have forgiven the people that have hurt me in my past, they no longer hurt me. I feel free. And you can too.

For more information, watch this great documentary about forgiveness on BBC Iplayer: Humza: Forgiving the Unforgivable - https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001hhr8/humza-forgiving-the-unforgivable

Or follow the Forgiveness Project: https://www.theforgivenessproject.com